Show Notes - Discover your personal power and magic beans

Hello friends,

I am so excited to share another week with you.  What do you think it means to discover your own personal power? I would love to know what you think. Leave me some comments.  I want to know what you think. 

Find out what Jack & the Beanstalk, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., a wise man on a mountain, and Jumanji all have in common as they help you discover your own personal power. 

I am so excited to share with you guys a review.  Reviews really help me know what I am doing well that you guys like and can help me create more content that you want to hear.  My friend 

Rosia48168

Authentic and easy to listen to!

Peggy, I love your new podcast. You are real, authentic, easy to understand, and listen to. The information you present has a direct application to our daily lives. Thank you and keep up the great work! You are influencing many people for the better.

Thank you so much Rosia 48168, I love that you feel you can apply these topics to our daily life.  That is my goal. 

For those of you that know me, know I am a huge Friends fan.  I recently started watching the show again from the beginning.  Remember Rachel in the beginning.  Spoiled Rachel who gave up her orthodontist to earn a paycheck where she complains “FICA '' took all her money.  As she is whining and complaining about how hard life is and how she gave up an “easier” life with her orthodontist for a harder life, Phoebe chimes in with Jack & the Beanstalk.  Jack gave up his beloved cow for a handful of magic beans.  Some say Jack was foolish, but Jack knew that the easy path is not always the best choice. He had hope for things that were better. 

Jack decided to take a chance on some magic beans and see what they would bring him.  Rachel at the end realizes that she too has magic beans. 

In Phoebe’s story, magic beans represent hope and possibility. They represent your personal power. If you're a fan go back and watch the first season, then the last season.   One of the things we love most about Rachel is how much she grew as a person.  Think about you ten years ago.  Are you the same person now? 

Part of discovering your personal power is knowing who you are and what your magic beans are?  Just as Rachel had to figure out where her passions and strengths were, and put in the work, we too need to figure out our own strengths. 

Discovering your personal power is about really discovering who you are, what makes you tick, what spurs your passions, what makes you smile, what makes you curious.  I recently posted a little question on my social media about smells.  There was a list of all kinds of smells like apple pie and homemade bread, coffee, campfire, chocolate, and baby snuggles.  It was so fun to see everyone’s answers.  And it was just one of those silly questions, that you normally would never think about. But sometimes it is fun to think about silly questions so we can figure out more about ourselves. 

I am also glad I ‘ve already talked about self-worth and being enough because I think those have a big influence on figuring out who you are and discovering your personal power. 

I want to talk today about what I think personal power is and what it is not. 

Discovering your personal power is not about pride or arrogance or narcissism. 

Pridefulness, arrogance or narcissism, are actually maladaptive compensatory strategies for feeling unworthy.  These feelings of being unworthy, cause individuals to seek approval from friends or family or the media to tell them their worth.  Believing in your own personal power means that you know and understand your worth and value you put in the world.  

Discovering your personal power is about learning to set appropriate boundaries.  

If we don’t believe it is healthy to be in our own personal power, we can easily be led to feel guilty and be manipulated by others. As caring and compassionate individuals we can often find ourselves getting lost in the struggles of loved ones or the opinions and influences of families, friends, or the media. 

Discovering your personal power is knowing when to put your foot down when someone wants you to do something that doesn't resonate with your values. 

Learning to use that two-letter word NO

Discovering your personal power is about learning and knowing what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with, and then setting boundaries to let other people know what you are not comfortable with.

When someone tries to step on or over these boundaries, you choose how to enforce that boundary.  You can choose to explain that specific behavior is not acceptable, you can choose to walk away or you can choose simply not to engage.  

If people want you to do things that do not resonate with your values, firmly say no without having to explain the reasons behind your answer.

Alicia Keys wrote this beautifully in her book More Myself, It is hard to pinpoint the exact moment when we internalize others' assessments. It's usually not just a single experience but rather a series of moments that bruise the spirit and lead us to distrust ourselves and those around us then we wake up someday and we don’t remember the last time we lived life only to please ourselves. 

Clear boundaries help us protect our personal power, or spirit and our soul and allow us to show up authentically and build stronger connections because we know we are good. 

 There is a story that goes like this. 

There was a young man that came to the wise man and said.

I Have come to you because I feel so worthless that I don’t want to live anymore.  Everyone around me says that I am a failure and a fool.  I'm begging you please help me.

The wise man glanced at him and hurriedly answered.  I am sorry, but   I am very busy now and can’t possibly help you.  I have an urgent matter to take care of, he stopped for a moment and then added.  But if you will agree to help me get this done, I will gladly help you afterward.  

Of course murmured the young man, noting bitterly that yet again his concerns had been dismissed as unimportant. 

Great said the wise man as he took a small ring off his finger with a beautiful gem.  

Take this to the market for me.  Try to get as much as you can for it and no matter what, do not agree to anything less than a gold coin.  Go now and come back as soon as you can. 

The young man took the week and ran all the way to the village. When he got to the market, he offered the ring to a merchant, the merchant looked it over with interest and offered him 5 crowns no more.  The young man took the ring to the next merchant.  This merchant held the gem under a looking glass but noticed the wear and tear of the ring, I can offer your 7 crowns no more. The boy said no I need one gold coin for the ring.   The merchant men started laughing and others simply turned away.  One merchant explained that one gold coin is simply too high as a silver coin would do. The boy went through the entire market and offered the ring to over a hundred people and nothing changed. 

He finally gave up and went back up the mountain to tell the wise man that he had failed once again.  I wasn’t able to sell your ring, he said with sadness, No one was willing to pay me a gold coin for it, I could have got a silver coin for it, but that is not what this ring is worth. 

Now that is a very important point,  my son.  Said the wise man.  Before trying to sell a ring, you should find out what it is worth.  And who can know that better than a jeweler?  Go to the jeweler and ask him what he will offer us for the ring.  But no matter what he says, don’t sell him the ring, just come back to me right away. 

The boy ran all the way back to the village and found the jewelry.  

 The jeweler carefully and patiently examined the ring, and weighted it on his scale and turned to the young man.  Tell your master that I can give him 70 gold coins. 

70 gold coins, the young man exclaimed as he thanked the jeweler and ran all the way back up the mountain to the wise man.  The wise man listened to the account of what had happened and looked the young man in the eyes. 

Remember this  my son, YOu are like the ring, precious and unique.  And only a reel expert can appreciate your true worth.  So why are you wasting your time going around to random people to figure out what it is? 

Discovering your own personal power is about knowing and understanding and knowing your worth. 

Discovering your personal power is not about trying to control others. Trying to control others creates feelings of tension, fear, and resentment. When we feel vulnerable and scared we may try to control others.  Discovering your personal power is recognizing that your power is about you and your strengths.  We can only control our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions.  When we try to control a situation or other people, we are demonstrating a lack of trust.  Trust yourself. Trust your own personal strength and power and let others be them. 

Discovering your personal power is about letting your light shine bright. There are millions of stars in the sky and each one is needed to create a kaleidoscope of wonder and awe.  You have heard the saying don't let anyone dull your sparkle.  Be YOU, the world needs you.  

I have this favorite song by Jenny Philips

  • Do you know
  • That God designed you to glow?
  • And you hold
  • The Father's promise in your soul
  • You may be just one light in the sky
  • But you are enough
  • To light up a darkened night
  •  
  • Someone needs your star
  • Someone needs the light you have inside
  • So rise up high
  • You were meant to shine
  • And never hide
  • Spread your good works wide and far
  • Someone needs your star

Discover your Personal Power is about recognizing your light within and letting it shine.

 When we own our own personal power we are able to show up authentically and vulnerable, but It is OK because this is how the truest connections are made. Never shrink or hide, stand bright. 

When we are not in our personal power we feel small, incapable, and dependent. This keeps us from expanding, learning, and growing and expressing our truth. When we do not feel our own personal power we may gravitate towards people and situations that empower us and that we wish to gain power from, yet who disempower us further. 

Discovering your personal power is about knowing that our strength and our power will attract situations and people who add to our expansion and life experience rather than detract from it.  We are strong in our own personal power and healthy self-worth, we have more to genuinely give to others without agenda.

Discovering your personal power is realizing that self-care is the foundation of self-respect.  Understanding your habits and behaviors that prioritize being kind to yourself. Knowing when to focus on your own needs.  The need for rest, food, time, and space. Recognizing personal needs and meeting those needs sends a message to your conscious mind that you are valuable and worthy of love and respect. 

Discovering your personal power helps you determine how you want to live your life. It allows you to pursue your dreams and recognize that failure is OK, it is part of success. 

Discovering your personal power allows you to live a life of peace, purpose, and power as you learn to live life on your own terms. 

Discovering your personal power helps you embrace and believe in your choices. Regardless of what you do, people will always have an opinion. You do not have to base your decisions on the opinions of others or out of fear of what people will think of you.  Owning your personal power is having self-respect and living a happy life involves embracing and believing in your choices, even if they don’t resonate with the opinions of your friends. You are the only one who knows what makes you happy.

If I had listened to other people’s opinions, I would have never gone to Nursing School.  Even now, I have friends and family members that question my reasons for living in Okinawa instead of in the United States. But, I have to remember, they don’t know what is best for me.  What is best for me is between me and my God and I know I am where I am supposed to be at this time.  Does that mean that it is always easy, no? But I believe in myself and I believe in my choices and I believe in my personal power to guide me. 

Discovering your personal power helps determine the quality of your relationships. Individuals that know their own worth and personal power, set the tone for their relationships. They don’t allow for disrespect. They are not afraid to break the relationships if they feel that they are not being given the respect they deserve. Respecting yourself shows the other person that you expect to be treated with respect.

Discovering your personal power helps you maintain your individuality in relationships. 

Discovering your personal power gives you courage and Determination

Your personal power is closely tied to your values. Discovering your personal power is about figuring out what values you value most. Understanding what is important to you and then living that truth. Knowing your values gives you the courage to stand up when times are tough. 

Discovering your personal power is about understanding our worth as a human. That we don’t have to do more, be more, accomplice more, look different, or act differently to gain value.  We frantically believe that we have to do more, accomplish more in order to feel worthy or enough, we can start to realize that no amount of “doing” will make up for just being. 

Discovering your personal power allows you to live from a place of emotional inspiration and creativity and freedom because we free up all the emotional energy we were spending on fear, pain, shame, and emotional survival. So many of us spend years withholding parts of ourselves, trying to fit and adjust to the social norms around us thereby sacrificing our spirit to make others feel comfortable.  This can create a prison. We can practice meeting ourselves with all our wounds and vulnerabilities and be brave enough to live it. 

My husband and I just took a little vacation up the road.  We live on the beautiful island of Okinawa and we haven’t had any new COVID cases in over 2 months due to the fact that they basically are not letting anyone on or off the island.  We have been basically quarantine at home, but they have been increasing the liberties little by little and we were finally able to travel on the island so we went to a little spot up north and played on the beach and swam in the pool, ate yummy food and spent our evenings chilling and watching movies.  It was nice to getaway.  We got to watch Jumanji, which we hadn't seen. 

I loved it when the players jumped into the game and figured out who they were and what their characters' abilities and weaknesses were.  By simply tapping their chest they got a nice list of their own unique abilities, qualities, and strengths 

Some will call this a VIA at Values in Action Inventory. The VIA Inventory of Strengths (VIA-IS), formerly known as the "Values in Action Inventory," is a proprietary psychological assessment measure designed to identify an individual's profile of character strengths.  Take some time this week and may a VIA for yourself.  What are your strengths, your accomplishments, your unique abilities and write them on a card that you can post on your bathroom mirror or carry in your wallet?  The players in Jumanji each had unique gifts and strengths that helped them win the game. They had to own their strengths and work together.  If one of them didn’t recognize their strength, it set them back or they ended up dying in the game.  Discover your personal power and recognize your strengths, so that when the time comes where you are needed, you know that you have the power to help others win the game.

You can find several online strengths assessments, my favorite is at https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/   It is on Dr. Martin Seligman’s website.  He is the founder of Positive Psychology and a professor at the University of Pennsylvania and has written several books. 

Have fun discovering your personal power

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Until we meet again

Peggy

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